UNITED NATIONS BUILDING, NEW YORK- BREAKING NEWS, The self-proclaimed personification of the world’s ocean delivered an ultimatum to the few that adhered to its request to gather. “Treat the oceans with more respect,” is what diplomats claim to have heard in their native tongues earlier this morning. The being immediately lost its adhesiveness and became a puddle with flopping fish and seaweed on the U.N. building floor.   Of the world leaders issuing statements calling for a treaty similar to the Paris Agreement Talks, China is attempting to position itself as the movement’s spearhead. Other nations such as the United States and Russia discredit everything that happened. President Elect Donald Trump has gone to say, “It’s a hoax. China’s putting on an elaborate play to steal power away from us. First they invent global warming and now this. I’m not buying it.”

Many people on the streets, however, believe other wise. One Pat Dove, 26, said, “It would explain the whack hurricanes we’ve been having. I mean, just look at what happened to Trump Tower last week. This s*** is crazy.”

-Gandire Dezi

11/24/16 

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